Self Control?
by Ichigo -dattebayo
Summary: Seriously... Don't ask... Complete crack, and mindless OOC humor. SasuNaru Also with an added dose of Sakura bashing! TwoShot WARNING: HORRIBLY WRITTEN. Bad grammar, the works...
1. Chapter 1

Warning: sasunaru, meaning shonen-ai. Okay people?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Self Control?

This will be in Sasuke's pov…

-I wish I had an angel

For one moment of love

I wish I had your angel tonight-

Love triangles, quite clichéd in my mind. But, I am also apart of one, so I suppose I shouldn't be a hypocrite.

Two boys and one girl. The first boy, loves the girl, the girl however, loves the second boy. And who the second boy loves? Well, that's for me to know. But, here is a hint; our little love 'triangle' is more or less, a love 'circle'. For each of us, loves another. Oh… and if you suggest that I also like that 'pink cockroach bitch' even once, so help me god… (I call her a cockroach, for no matter how many times I secretly try to kill her, she just won't die!).

Well, I guess I just gave myself away, dident I? Yes, I, the second boy, loves the first boy. But I would rather; get in a car, set said car ablaze, drive off of a bridge into water filled with electric eels, and slit my wrists on the way down, than to tell him… and that's put simply!

But hey, I am, _the Avenger_! (Said with dramatic music), I don't have any_ time_ for _any_ sort of relationship! Ugh! I can't stand that pink thing! Now she's blocking my 'used to be' excellent, view of Naruto!

You wonder how I manage to watch him all the time? You would think it would be hard to pull off, him being a ninja and all… but it's really not that hard. If he looks over at me, all I have to do is glare at him, and call him a 'dobe'. Yes, I do hate calling him stuff like that, but him declaring us as rivals allows me to spend a lot of time with him. And he has recently declared us as friends! That allows me to spend even _more_ time with him! If only he new how happy he made me!

Crap, I hope Sakura dident see that smile, I can't let myself slip like that!

"Sasuke –Kun?" ugh! Her voice, it burns! "OMG! You just smiled! Naruto! Come see this! Sasuke's smiling!" grrrrr… all the jumping, and flailing about!

"What is that you say Sakura –chan?" yaaaay, my sweet angel comes to save me from the evil pink thing!

"Now he's _blushing_" well… damn… do you think that jumping off of this bridge that I'm leaning against will kill me? DAMNIT! Now he's _touching me_!

"Are you sick Sasuke?... you seem fine to me." He's so sweet when he cares!

"Get your hand off me dobe! How would you be able to tell anyway? I'm wearing my hetai-ate" thank you for caring my love!

OMG! When I pushed his hand off I _touched him_! I'm never washing this side of my body _ever_ again!

Why are you looking at me like that? Of course I would push him off, I am an _Avenger _(dramatic music comes on again), and I have a reputation! Oh… you meant the whole 'washing' thing… aw well.

-Poof-

"Gwaaaaaaaa! Kaka –sensei! Don't 'poof' up behind me like that!" oooooooh, how _dare _he scare my baby like that! I will make that bastard pay!... after Itachi of course!

"Sorry I'm late; I was trying to think of a way to get Sasuke to send me the most evil glare ever. And I do believe that I chose the right tactic-"

"LIAR!" that stupid smug bastard! Hmmm… maybe I shouldn't have chanted along with the others… they're giving me weird looks… DID KAKASHI JUST _WINK_ AT ME?... maybe he just blinked… -shrug- aw well… time to change the subject I sappose…

"Mission… what… now…" back to 'normal' self? Check! If only they new! (Evil inward maniacal laughter ensues…) cough…

"Sasuke –kun? Maybe Naruto's right, maybe you are sick!"

"I'm fine evil pink thing." Good to get things out…

"What was that Sasuke –kun?"

"I said I'm fine Sakura…" if I told her what I actually said, my sweet angel would hate me!

And the talking ensues from Kakashi, who I still want to kill by the way… I learned to block him out a long time ago… I'd much rather Naruto to tell me anyways!

…after much rambling…

"Oi! Coming bastard?" that snapped me back to reality.

"Coming my angel cake!" if only he knew how much I wished for him every night…!

"What's that asshole?" wished for his golden hair, shining blue eyes, his warm touch…

"I said 'usuratonkatchi', usuratonkatchi." Oh how I want to pounce him right now! The way he's wining to Sakura… a.k.a. Evil Pink Thing.

-Thwack- she hit him (duhhh!)

"You pink bitch! How dare you hurt my naru –chan?"

"Sa-sasuke –kun?" the expression on her face was priceless!

"Come with me, Naru –chan!"

"Oh, yes, Sasu –chan!" he reached out for me. Then we walked back to my house to do x rated things!

-Shake, shake-

"I really should control my daydreams!" the pink one, and my love (with a new bump on his head), turned to me with bewildered looks on their faces. How can she manage to yell so easily at my Naruto –koi? Over and over again? Hmmm, I should go back to my stoic-ly self…

"…hn…" OMG! One. More. Step. To the left! Come one Sakura, one more step and you will have fallen into another one of my perfectly thought out plans! (Evil laughter, inward of course, ensues, yet again…).  
Noooooo, Naruto! –Sigh- my cute angel is so clueless!

"Ummm… Sasuke?... you can let me go now…" but I love holding you close… wait, is that a blush I see? "But more importantly… WHERE THE HELL DID THOSE SHURINKEN COME FROM!" god, he's so _hot_ when he's angry! Self control Sasuke, self control Sasuke, self control Sasuke! Come on, you've loved him since you were like _ten years old_! If you've lasted that long, you can last another ten seconds! Self control Sasuke, self control Sasuke, self cont-

"OI TEME! YOU DIDENT HAVE TO DROP ME SO HARD!" Yup, I'm good! "What's wrong with you!"

"The answer is closer than you may think…"

"What?" he's so dumb it's cute!

"Ohhh, nothing…" May as well through in a smirk…

-I'm in love with my lust

Burning angel wings to dust

I wish I had your angel tonight-

Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Well how was it?

This will remain a oneshot, unless you disparately want me to continue.

The song at the beginning and end is part of; Wish I had an angel by Nightwish (don't own)

Ichigo -dattebayo


	2. Chapter 2 baby

That's right, I AM continuing! I've actually had this chapter for awhile, I was just waiting until you all to forgot what it was and then when you saw this you'd say OMG IT'S PART TWO!

I hope you enjoy! WARNING: not as good as the first chapter!

Self Control?

By Ichigo -dattebayo

(Sasuke POV as usual)

"Hmm hmm hmm…" yup, that's right, I'm humming, got a problem with that? I thought not…

You know that mission that Kakashi gave us yesterday?... yeah, well that's not important, all you need to know is that we were walking, but now we aren't. Although you didn't _really _need to know that… aw well, all you really need to know is that I've had a lot of time to think to myself.

I have noticed that my stoic-ly mask is slowly slipping off, and who I really am is coming out, I mean… the humming… if that's not a sign, I dunno WHAT is.

We are now currently 'asleep' in a cave type area of… somewhere… I wasn't listening, Sakura is on my right, and Naruto to my left. And as I was saying before, I can't sleep… wait, I never said that did I? Okay, I can't sleep, there we go, now that we've established that, I can't sleep and I've had a lot of time to think. And this is how my train of thought has been going… no wait, let me tell you in words most people will understand.

If somebody told you that you were slowly losing your sanity, you would probably say that _they _were crazy!... But there you are, having to tell your self that you gotta keep your self-control, over, and over, and over again. For you can't seem to control yourself from rolling over, and glomping the poor unsuspecting boy beside you! If that's not a sure sign of sanity loss… I'm sure something else would be… but that's the best sign I got, so deal with it!

Again with that mission, you know, the one that's not important… well… I've been resisting the urge to roll over and glomp the poor boy beside me for the past… three hours! It's a good thing that evil pink thing grabbed onto me in the middle if the night! Wait… STUPID PINK THING! She probably planned this!... She's most likely awake!

Hmmm… if I cuddle up to her… yup, she _is_ awake, she's blushing!

"You know, I'm in love Sakura" just the reaction I was hoping for!

"R-really Sasuke-kun!" She's so stupid it's disgusting… funny, I said the same thing about Naruto, only he was cute… insanity can be so much fun!

"But it isn't you, so let go."

"W-what?... who is it then?"

"I can't tell you, nor can I tell… that person…"

"Wouldn't it just be easier to say 'her' instead of 'that person', Sasuke –kun?" well, at least she's got the rest of the village thinking she's smart. And that's exactly what I told her, she took it as a complement, I would have smacked my head in frustration if I wasn't worried that it would wake Naruto up. "Please, Sasuke-kun, tell me! I _promise _that I wont tell her!" I had an urge to roll over and smack her now, but same reason as before… and punching would be so much more manlier… but hey, I'm Uchiha Sasuke, I'm allowed to do whatever the hell I want damnit! And yes, that includes bitch slapping the worlds most annoying female.

"If I give you a hint, will you never glomp me in the middle of the night again?" simple enough, but she just _had_ to think it over.

"okay, but a good hint, yeah?" another one of her creepy smiles…

"He's not a girl!" I whispered but shouted, you know what I mean? I was quiet but loud… yeah…

And she just sits there and _blinks_ omg, how could they put me in a team with this lunatic! But, I guess I'm one to talk… being crazy and all…

"Oh, and Sakura?"

"Yeah? Sasuke –kun?" STOP CALLING ME THAT!

"I think I'm insane." By the look on her stupid little face, that was obviously the last thing she was expecting.

"Wh-what?..."

"The only thing that has kept me normal, is that last tiny bit of self-control I've had…" I held my pointer finger and my thumb together to prove how little I had left.

"H-how did you come to the conclusion that you were… _unstable_…?" she annoys me, trying to sound oh-so smart.

"Well… I just told you this… meaning I probably just snapped… and…" I faked a thoughtful look, "As soon as I admitted that I liked him I believe…" I lifted my gaze to meet hers… omg I think I just realized that she had pink hair… o..m..g… who the hell has _pink_ hair? What is wrong with her, I mean MY GOD!

"H-how long…? I'm just curious…" Ugh what a creepy smile… if that's what you could call that thing…

"About since I was… seven? Yeah, since I was seven."

"So I never had a chance then…" it was more of a statement, but she was so dumb… who knew! "Who is it? Is it someone that I know?"

"YUP!" I smile brightly at her, the look she's giving me is scary, "You know what?.. Screw self control Sakura!" I think she's scared of me now, "BUAHAHAHAHA!" Yup, if she wasn't scared of me before, she certainly was _now_.

"Whaaaa! Bastard! Get off of me!" Well, I guess after getting attacked by my ultra 100 percent uber mega glomp of doom, you _would_ wake up…

"No! ♥"

"Wh-what! Why! Did you just add a heart to that?"

"Mine! ♥" I had successfully held him immobile by wrapping myself around him.

"Sakura-chan! Save me!"

"Nah, I'd rather not…"

"Wh-what! Why?"

"You may not know this about me, but I'm a yaoi fan" Well, even _I_ didn't see _that_ coming…

"Sleep now, questioning sanity later…" And our love 'circle' completes itself.

Well, I hope that was okay!

begs for reviews

That's right, I'm begging for reviews…


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